CCXXII and CCXXIII (two sonnets about RuneScape)

I’ve worked here many years now, and I’m bored;

but will not, for some reason, quit nor stop.

So now, to pass the time while I’m here moored,

I download RuneScape on the work desktop.

Instead of cutting paper, I cut trees,

for precious in-game woodcutting xp.

And most my skills are in the high nineties,

as those who right-click examine can see.

My first of many ninety-nines was here

from smithing daggers out in Misthalin.

The journey off to Falador was dear

to pay 99k to mark the win.

But ‘til I’ve maxed out every skill they’ve got,

I’ll still play RuneScape on the work desktop.

~~~

The first meal that I ever cooked for me

was three shrimp on a fire by the sea,

and the first fight from which I didn’t flee

was ‘gainst a giant rat—tall as my knee.

But then I learned a very many things

they didn’t teach me on that island home.

And soon I cooked for dinner guests of kings

by traipsing cross the kingdom with a comb.

They called me “Cook’s Assistant” for this deed,

the first of many titles that I’d tend.

But better than this venture, I concede,

were shrimp cooked on Tutorial Island.

But if this poem sounds quite strange to you,

you haven’t giv’n Gielinor her due.